Translated by AI

1.1 The Origin of the Question

I cannot recall who first said it, but the logic that "you must be sensible so others can be comfortable" seems to have always been there. I never gave it much thought; everyone lived this way, and following suit seemed the safer bet. So, I gradually learned to follow the rules, to become "sensible," and to avoid troubling others. At the time, I believed this was what "maturity" meant.

I wonder if you, like me, have had a sudden realization: after years of striving to live by the code of being obedient, sensible, and burden-free, can we still endorse this way of living today? Does the character setting we have so diligently invested in still fit our current state of being?

It seems we have been playing a role all along. No one explicitly directed us on how to act, yet we set a standard for ourselves: be reassuring, be reliable, shoulder the burden, and never be a nuisance. Speak appropriately, act suitably, and live like a machine that never errs.

The problem, however, is that when you stay in a script for too long, you gradually forget that scripts can be changed. The tone, positioning, and emotional reactions of that character—once practiced with intent—eventually harden into muscle memory. We no longer need to think; we can accurately perform "how it should be." Such proficiency is comforting, but it is also often exhausting.

The deeper issue lies in our over-reliance on a pre-installed logic for action: speaking that way, responding that way, choosing that way—automatically and without thought. Over time, we mistake these patterns for "I." But in truth, this is merely a character setting we once agreed to, one that may now be obsolete. It is not necessarily wrong, but it requires an update; it needs to be adapted to the time and season.

These observations lead us to a more fundamental question: How do we know if we are playing a role or being ourselves? More importantly, once we become aware of this performance, how do we find a mode of existence that is neither blind obedience nor petulant rebellion?

1.2 Thinking Within the "Life Intern" Framework

To answer these questions, we need a new mental framework. Imagine if life were an internship and we were all interns. In this view, every situation encountered and every difficulty faced could be a prompt for a specific assignment. This does not imply an external boss handing out tasks, but rather that life itself is asking us questions.

In this framework, when we feel confused, pained, or stuck, the first question to ask is not "What should I do?", but "Why am I encountering this situation at this point in time?" Implicit in this question is a deeper understanding: every scenario we encounter may contain something we need to learn.

However, there is a crucial distinction here: this learning is not passive acceptance, but active exploration. We are not waiting for standard answers; we are attempting to understand the essence of the problem. When we can shift from "This problem is annoying" to "What is this problem telling me?", our entire state of existence changes.

This shift is not easy. It requires us to lay down the confidence of "I already know what to do," as well as the helplessness of "I know nothing." We need to cultivate a new posture: maintaining both openness and agency; acknowledging uncertainty without being paralyzed by it.

1.3 Task Awareness and the Layers of Existence

A core insight within the "Life Intern" framework is that our existence has different layers. There is the layer that directly faces daily situations and makes concrete choices—we can call this the "Acting Level." Then, there is a layer capable of observing these actions and understanding the meaning of these choices—we can call this the "Observing Level."

This distinction is not meant to create internal division, but to remind us that we need not fully identify with immediate emotional reactions or impulsive choices. When we can realize "The 'me' right now is angry" instead of instantly becoming "I am an angry person," we create a space of choice for ourselves.

More importantly, the existence of the Observing Level allows us to ask a key question before acting: What is this situation inviting me to do? Is it inviting me to prove my competence? Is it inviting me to learn how to let go? Or is it inviting me to express myself more honestly?

The wisdom of this inquiry lies in the fact that it does not presuppose an answer, but it presupposes meaning. It assumes that the difficulties we encounter are not accidental but hold a deeper intent. This intent is not necessarily externally set; it is more likely emerging from the overall context of our lives.

When we begin to think this way, we discover that the same difficulty may have entirely different meanings for different people. For someone habituated to avoiding conflict, a situation requiring a direct response might be an invitation to learn expression. For someone used to dominant control, encountering an uncontrollable situation might be an invitation to learn acceptance.

1.4 The Transformation from Reaction to Response

This understanding brings about a vital transformation: from Reaction to Response. Reaction is automatic and habitual, often built on patterns of past experience. Response, however, is thoughtful and creative; it takes into account the uniqueness of the present situation.

Most of the time, we think we are making choices, but we are actually just repeating past reaction patterns. When criticized, we automatically defend or attack; when facing difficulty, we automatically flee or tough it out; when facing opportunity, we automatically grasp or reject. These reactions may have been effective in certain past contexts, but they fit the current situation necessarily.

Response is different. Response requires us to create a space of pause between the stimulus and the action. In this space, we can ask: What is the nature of this situation? What is my automatic reaction? Is this reaction suitable for the now? Are there other possibilities?

This space of suspension—this pause—is where the Observing Level does its work. It is not about becoming indifferent or hesitant, but about becoming more acute and flexible. When we can observe and understand before we act, our actions are no longer blind repetitions; they become creative responses.

1.5 Redefining Responsibility

In this framework, responsibility takes on a new meaning. Traditional responsibility is often built on external expectations or norms: what I should do, what I shouldn't do. But in the "Life Intern" framework, responsibility is built more on an understanding of the situation and a recognition of one's own capacity.

True responsibility is not adherence to a fixed standard, but an appropriate response to the immediate situation. This response requires considering multiple factors: What are my capacities and limitations? What does this situation need? How will my actions affect others? In the long run, what choice aligns more with my values?

This kind of responsibility is dynamic and creative. It gives us no fixed answers, but it gives us a framework for thinking. It reminds us that every choice is an opportunity for creation, and every action is shaping the kind of person we are becoming.

At a deeper level, this responsibility comes from treating one's own existence seriously. We no longer see ourselves as executors of a role, but begin to view ourselves as creators of a life. We do not ask "What role should I play?", but contemplate "What kind of existence do I wish to create?"

We face internal complexity when we begin to question established beliefs. When multiple values exist simultaneously, when different voices appear together, how do we avoid being torn apart and instead find the possibility of integration? What wisdom and skills does this process require?

A mature state of existence is neither naive acceptance nor cynical rejection; it is a deliberate participation. In this state, how do we remain both lucid and engaged? Both rational and emotional? Independent yet connected?

The goal of this entire exploration is not to find a perfect way of life, but to develop a capacity for continuous learning and adjustment. In this rapidly changing world, we are not thinking about finding the correct answer, but about maintaining the correct stance—a posture that is at once open and firm, humble and brave.